Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I can't believe it's been almost eight months since I've touched this blog. The last entry was a joyous occasion, to some, but to others I have a feeling it didn't really matter one way or the other. The murderer who stole the life of the man I love was sentenced to life without parole. But what does that mean? Is it safe to assume he'll never get out? Is it safe to assume he'll live behind those bars for the remainder of his days?

Do I really care? Does it matter to me what his future holds?

No, interestingly enough, it doesn't. I don't care anymore. I give him no thought whatsoever, yet here I sit writing about him. I literally had to stop myself and ask, "why?" Am I doing this because I believe someday another will read these words and feel the same as I? Is it because I have this unyielding desire to share my most inner thoughts in the hopes that someday others like me will understand this belief as I do? Or is it because I've finally, after all of these years, I've finally forgiven this man for what he did?

If I believe that everything happens for a reason (and I do) then I also have to believe my darling Chip was meant to depart when he did. And if I believe that, then I also have to believe he was meant to depart the "way" that he did. And if I believe that, then I have to believe the man who murdered him was meant to "also" give his life for that event...too.

"What an Advanced Soul he is to have agreed to do what he did. And then to carry it out!"

Years ago, a very special lady floored me when I heard her say these very words. I knew she was speaking of the killer, but I couldn't wrap my head around the words she used. Advanced Soul? How could anyone possibly think he was an advanced soul? And why would she say something like that to me? Especially at a time when my heart was aching so badly for Chip.

I never forgot it though. To this very day, I never forgot what she said. I do believe in past lives, reincarnation, agreements, contracts, synchronicity; I do believe there are no coincidences. As much as I "knew" or "felt" this man to be an evil man...I never once thought of him as an Advanced Soul. I never thought of him as a good man, a special man, a loving man...or anything that resembled what I considered at the time as Love. All I knew is that I wanted to stay away from him...no matter what that took.

I've looked back many times, re-living every second of that morning, re-living time when the killer stood in my presence...he lived a very selfish life-style. But he would have needed that in order for him to get to that point of loathing Chip, to get to that point of taking another human's life, to get to that point where he fulfilled the agreement between he and Chip...to murder Chip's physical body.

If agreements, contracts, whatever word I as a human need to use to describe a relationship of goodness or of Love...I also need to acknowledge the agreements between those who have contracted to depart this life in a way that seems unsuitable to many...but for those on the Other Side...never seem to care about.

Chip and this Advanced Soul crossed their t's and dotted their i's and made what happen...happen. I literally can do nothing else but send the man who sits in prison, love and light. Whatever happens next in his life is meant to happen, as is mine. My journey now...is to focus on the road ahead...not on that past.

Sometimes though...that's much easier said...than done...

Tuesday, April 3, 2012


Chip Oney loved this picture of himself. He is such a proud Scottish gent. I loved how he held them shoulders back, smiled large, and danced crazily flicking his man-skirt all around. All I did was laugh!

Today, the man who snatched his life from him has finally been given his sentence. After being found Guilty of First Degree Murder in January, at approx 3:40 this afternoon, the gavel had the final word. Life in Prison without Parole. Never again in this lifetime, will he kill another human being because of his jealousy, his arrogance, or his selfish attitude. With Vito Bell removed from society, the streets are now a little safer.

This Chapter ... has been completed and that four year old book filled with grief, horror, disbelief, and tons of agonizing pain, has been ... released!

Monday, April 2, 2012


For all the lovers in the world and the outer world - the Afterlife. Music is such an easy way to communicate through space and time. And for today, this one song surely takes me by surprise. I so admire the beautiful spirit of a man I love more than anyone in the world. Just when I begin to question something, become skeptical about something, wonder about something, a song comes forward to knock all doubts, all worry, completely out the ball park.

Even though I don't have his physical body to embrace, I still have his love...and will...always and forever.

Always and forever
Each moment with you is just like a dream to me
That somehow came true
And I know tomorrow will still be the same
'Cause' we've got a life of love that won't ever change

And every day love me your own special way
Melt all my heart away with a smile
Take time to tell me you really care
And we'll share tomorrow together

I'll always love you, forever, forever

Friday, March 23, 2012


On March 19, 2012, Vito Bell filed a petition to fire his attorney. In doing so, he delayed his sentence hearing of receiving either the Death Penalty or Life In Prison without the possibility of parole for the remainder of his natural life. I wish Chip Oney (deceased) would have been given an opportunity to "delay" his death sentence. Doesn't seem fair - life and death.

A new hearing has been set for April 3, 2012. On this date however, another date will be set for his actual sentencing. To be continued...(he can't do this forever).

Monday, March 19, 2012


Scheduled for 4:30 pm tomorrow, Tuesday, March 20, 2012.

Rumor has it though, the murderer seeks a way to postpone. More tomorrow...

Saturday, March 17, 2012


Lots of memories today - St. Pat's Day. On this day years ago, my heart opened larger than I ever expected it could. One man stole my heart, he stole my mind, and he captured from deep within me - every bit of love one person can feel for another.

I remember the kilt he wore today as he celebrated his heritage. I remember the laughs, the jokes, the dance, the joy we shared together. But most of all - I remember the embrace before we drifted off to sleep. It was the tightest he ever held me. And then softly in my ear, he whispered, "I love you, Lynnie."

This morning on my way out, I turned on the radio. Something I never do, but today I did. I tune in and surprisingly, I hear these words sing out to me, "I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more."

Chip - I die everyday waiting for you. Darling I'm not afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more...too.

I miss you...


Wednesday, March 14, 2012


My journey these past few years has been enlightening, confusing at times, passionately stressful, and through it all - I feel so lucky to have an amazing support system in another world, in another dimension. When I get sad, when I question my whereabouts, when I get fuzzy about life in general, the most amazing things happen.

How can I ever thank them for keeping me grounded, keeping me aware, keeping me focused, keeping me in line with myself...today is one of those times where confusion and a little bit of despair stepped in. On a day I question if things are about to change drastically, if my support system is leaving me, I hear a song dance through my mind. Only a few words, but from them, I'm able to decipher the message.

"Let's stay together. Loving whether times are good or bad, happy or sad, let's stay together." I'm so very blessed...and still so in love.

Sunday, March 11, 2012


Even though there may be times
It seems I'm far away
Never wonder where I am
Cause I'm always by your side
Cause you're my lady, and I am your man.

Monday, March 5, 2012


A hearing was set for today, March 5, to schedule the sentencing hearing for the man found guilty of shooting and killing Chip Oney. The judge's schedule was full this week, so a second hearing is now set for March 19. It looks like one of the days during that week is when impact statements will be given and heard, and a sentence will be enforced.
According to a Jacksonville contact, Mr. Colavito Bell still sits in solitary confinement with nothing but a blanket to wrap in. He will remain there until the week of the 19th.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I had THE best day, Sunday, loaded with goose bumps, great conversations, and signs. All good signs but the one that stands out most, happened while I was people watching outside this afternoon.

I saw something floating around in front of me catching my eye - it's a feather. No birds around, none chirping, none in the trees (I looked to see), so I continued to watch the little feather. A cool breeze picks it up in mid-air and it slowly drifts back and forth across the drive, never getting close to the ground.

"Where have I seen a feather do that before?" I ask myself.
"Oh yeah, in that movie Forest Gump," I remind myself.
And then out of nowhere, I hear my thoughts disappear as they're replaced with one I haven't heard in over four years.

I hear, crystal clear, "I yuv wu, Jenny."

Tears of joy and delight smothered my eyes.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Chapel Of Love

So I closed up an email from a friend who sent me pink fairy dust, (love), and turned off my internet service. I stood up and suddenly hear in my thoughts, "Gee, I really love you. And we're gonna get married. Going to the Chapel of Love."
I love living with the Afterlife!

Friday, February 17, 2012

We Can Make Forever Feel This Way

~Don't you wanna stay here a little while? We can make forever feel this way. Don't you wanna stay?~
Jason Aldean & Kelly Clark's voices dancing around in my head today...for a reason? I do believe so...

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Wonder Of It All

I hear in my sleep state, "listen to what the man said." But I sit there in the dream, and I see myself wondering, "what man?"

And then right as I awake, I hear a voice singing inside my head, "the wonder of it all, baby. The wonder of it all, baby!"

Ah, got it! "The wonder of it all." ~The Wonder Of It All~

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Hello Thursday Afternoon

It worked. Translating, determining my own definition of the previous song, asking for a new song, voila, delivered via my thoughts.

As I was walking through the kitchen, (spiritual nourishment), I hear, "Going to see my baby again. Oh my dreams come true, on Blue Bayou." Not in order, I know, but it's what grabbed my attention.

I love it! Love, love it!

Good Morning Thursday

Woke up again at 2:00am hearing a verse of this song playing inside of my head. This is the third night in a row, at the same time, I've heard this line, "Babe, I love you so. I want you to know. That I'm going to miss your love, the minute you walk out that door. Please don't go. Don't go. Don't go away."

So today I ask myself, "why this song?" I pay attention to my thoughts and where they take me. I travel back to yesterday and the day before and I ask myself, "what thought was more relevant than any other." I found my answer this morning. This afternoon I walked outside into the very crisp air. I looked up into the blue sky above determined to communicate my feelings.

I said, "I promise. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying here, on this path. For now, I will not deter...I promise!"

Love KC & The Sunshine Band - but can we find another song now, sweetie pie? :)

Monday, January 30, 2012

                 Colavito Bell 
On January 26, 2012, a jury found Colavito Anton Bell, Guilty of First Degree Murder. He was charged with shooting and killing Christopher "Chip" Oney in the early morning hours of January 23, 2008.

Witnesses testified that he confessed to the shooting but showed no remorse. Immediately after shooting Mr. Oney in the head three times, he raced to an ex-girlfriend's home asking for help to flee the country. She asked him what he had done and he informed her he had killed someone. But she wouldn't help him. He later threatened her to keep quiet.

He then fled out of state and showed up unannounced to the home of a sibling. Bell confessed to his sibling in great detail. He shared his intentions to kill Lyn Ragan (Dispatcher) and Chip Oney at the same time. But Ms. Ragan was not there on the morning of January 23, 2008, so he carried out the murder of Chip Oney. The witness also testified to the clothes Bell wore during the attack and how he disposed of his attire and the gun after the shooting.

Other witnesses close to Bell testified of his confession to them as well. His motive? Money and greed. Mr. Bell now awaits a sentencing hearing scheduled to take place in March 2012. In the State of Florida, a First Degree Murder conviction carries a life sentence, day for day.

Colavito Bell will remain behind prison bars for the remainder of his life. Unless of course, he commits suicide as he tried to do on Friday, January 27, 2012, the day after his verdict was read. His attempt fell short and presently, he sits in solitary awaiting his sentence.