MEMORIES OF LOVED ONES PASSED

Even though eight years have passed since Chip's murder, moments of desperate grief still rush through me. I can go days now, sometimes weeks, and never think of that horrible, dark, and dreary morning. That morning where not only the life I had come to love was so rapidly ripped away, but that morning where Chip's was as well. His sacrifice however, runs much deeper than mine-- he died.

One would think after all of this time, those hours of horror would feel less alive and not so present-day. That's not how it works though. That thing called "Time", it doesn't erase the missing of those we have loved and lost. Time simply places those memories gently behind the lives we lead, lurking and waiting for that perfect moment to leap in to knock the wind right out of you. 

The one thing that these last eight years has taught me is to lean into the grief when it sneaks up from behind. I now understand it's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to crawl into bed and rest. It's okay to take out the time needed to release the sorrow. 

Sweet and beautiful memories are wonderful to think about. They actually do help us heal. When those not-so-favorable ones creep in though-- take your time to work through them. Trust yourself and allow your heart to feel what it needs to experience. That too, helps us heal.  ~Much love, Lyn...  

GRIEF SUCKS

TIME... one of the many words I disliked upon Chip's death eight years ago. It's easy to understand why...

— Time is defined as the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future, regarded as a whole. —

It has absolutely nothing to do with grief, yet, it has EVERYTHING to do with it. I was recently reminded how horribly sad grief is. My sweetheart has been gone for awhile now, yet sometimes it seems like only yesterday when I sat beside his body waiting for help. It's true, time does seem to soften the blow in that indescribable everyday pain.

Today, there are thousands of individuals experiencing their first time being thrown into the arena of a loved one's passing. Unexpectedly, I received an email from a young woman whose fiance' was murdered ... by a co-worker ... and he too was reaching out from the other side. My heart instantly went out to her not just because of our similar circumstances, but because of the pain I am certain she is feeling.

I used to say, "The word Grief doesn't come close to describing the devastation to my very being. There are no words to portray that kind of pain."

... GRIEF SUCKS!