Friday, July 29, 2016


Even though eight years have passed since Chip's murder, moments of desperate grief still rush through me. I can go days now, sometimes weeks, and never think of that horrible, dark, and dreary morning. That morning where not only the life I had come to love was so rapidly ripped away, but that morning where Chip's was as well. His sacrifice however, runs much deeper than mine-- he died.

One would think after all of this time, those hours of horror would feel less alive and not so present-day. That's not how it works though. That thing called "Time", it doesn't erase the missing of those we have loved and lost. Time simply places those memories gently behind the lives we lead, lurking and waiting for that perfect moment to leap in to knock the wind right out of you. 

The one thing that these last eight years has taught me is to lean into the grief when it sneaks up from behind. I now understand it's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to crawl into bed and rest. It's okay to take out the time needed to release the sorrow. 

Sweet and beautiful memories are wonderful to think about. They actually do help us heal. When those not-so-favorable ones creep in though-- take your time to work through them. Trust yourself and allow your heart to feel what it needs to experience. That too, helps us heal.  ~Much love, Lyn...  

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